Hurricane
by AniLouBenz
Summary: A recent quarrel with Raphael leaves Leonardo in a bind...that could very well cost him his life. A song fic based on the song Hurricane by 30 Seconds to Mars. Leo and Raph's POV. Rated T for language, violence, blood, and possible character death. UPDATED TO MEET GUIDELINES
1. Chapter 1

A/N: UPDATE (2-22) Due to certain guidlines kindly brought to my attention, I have removed the song lyrics. It's a bit of a bummer, but breaking rules and risking the fate of a fiction-not my style. Each chapter basically features the verse followed by the chorus (repeated three times). I hope keeping that in mind while you read helps!

**Hurricane, Part One**

_(Based off the song _Hurricane_ by 30 Seconds to Mars.)_

They'd just had it out. Again. This time Leo was the one who needed to get away, to take a breather.

Like usual, the argument had started small. Leo had bested Raph, as was the norm, and Mikey rubbed it in all day and into dinner. That was when the storm started to build.

Raphael hadn't been at the top of his game recently, Leo knew. This frustrated the red-clad turtle, increasingly so every time he lost a spar. Tonight had been his breaking point.

When his usual threats fell short of silencing their joker brother, Raph snapped. He sent his plate flying, the pizza, his soda. Overturned the table. Leo immediately stepped in, wary that the outlandish behavior would disturb Master Splinter's before-dinner meditation.

It did.

Soon the rat appeared in the doorway to find his two eldest sons circling each other amid a mess of broken china, toppled chairs, spilled drinks, and trampled pizza. Raphael threw profanities and curses, with a few swings here and there. Leo avoided each attempted physical strike and returned powerful verbal blows of his own.

"Enough!" Both turtles froze, one in mid-reach for his sais. Their glares never left the one another._ "Enough."_ Master Splinter said again, a deadly warning in his voice.

Leo looked away first; Raph stalked from the room, giving their sensei a wide berth.

And, as fast as it had begun, the fight was over. No less like every other fight.

While Don and Mikey picked up the pieces of the kitchen, Leo ashamedly followed Master Splinter back to the rat's chamber. He took full responsibility for the incident, claiming he'd known something had been bothering Raphael, yet he did not confront him.

Now he gazed down upon a nocturnal New York City, not really seeing any of the rural landscape. From above came a steady weeping as the clouds released their grief. This too Leonardo did not detect; his mind was far away, below ground, in their makeshift kitchen.

"I wish I'd neva been mutated!" Raph had spat. "Spendin my days eatin lettuce as somebody's pet woulda been far better than always bein second best ta you!" The words kept ringing in his ears. "I don' need dis an' I sure as Hell don' need you, any o' you!"

He didn't mean it. He never meant anything he said when he was angry. Still, that hurt. The expressions on Donny and Mikey's faces had shown they were also hurt by their brother's words.

_I wonder if you realize how much your temper injures those around you, Brother. Sometimes, I wish...I wish you were different, more in control of your actions. It's like you're drowning in your own fury..._

This building happened to be quite tall and quite isolated. Perched on the ledge, deep in thought, Leo was glad how quiet the city was that night. He felt more alone without the constant noise. In many ways, this made up for his recent lack of sleep.

Never mind the cold rain licking his skin, or how his vision blurred in and out from staring too long, or how his ears wouldn't stop ringing with Raph's utterances. Never mind how late it must be or what was waiting for him back home. For once, he found comfort in the otherwise hated natural shower.

Perfect. Why was it always raining when they went topside? Running around getting drenched every other night really sucked, in Raph's opinion.

"Remind me again why we're out here?" Mikey whined.

"Because," grunted Raph, "Splinter wants ta give us anotha lecture or somethin an' Fearless has gotta be there." They could never do anything without the glorious Leonardo. It pissed Raph off to no end. "'Sides," he added as a bitter afterthought, "I got a knuckle san'wich with his name on it."

"You mean if you can actually hit him for once?"

"Can it, Einstein!"

Despite the threat, Donatello looked worried. "It's not like Leo to _not_ answer his cell."

"Did ya leave a voicemail?"

"Haha, you're so funny. He's turned it off."

Leo never turned off his cell. Ever.

_Ah, Hell._

Now Mikey turned his worried eyes to Raph. "What do we do?"

The turtle with the purple mask answered. "I've got his cell's location. That way!" Donatello set out in a north-east direction without another word, Mikey close behind and Raph... trailing a bit.

"You think...he's...in trouble?" Asked the orange-clad turtle between bounds. They were sailing across the rooftops at a fairly decent pace.

Raph gave a sarcastic laugh, performing a mid-air somersault onto the next roof. "Fearless, in trouble? Ya kiddin? He's prolly jus' PMSin' again, sittin somewhere eatin chocolate."

"...Sometimes I really hate your sarcasm." Donny frowned, keeping an eye on the little blip that was Leo's cell tracker.

How long had he been up here? Leo wasn't sure.

He felt so frustrated these days. Frustrated with himself, Raph, and their constant fights.

_Can't you see I don't want to fight with you? Can't you see we...I...will never betray you?_ If only Raph would open up to them instead of giving in to his anger...

Sudden footfall, barely audible above the rain, had him whirling to face the roof.

"Hello, Turtle," sneered one of two dozen Foot soldiers. More were crowding other nearby rooftops, black ghosts staring through the rain with hallow eyes.

Forty...maybe more.

A shiver ran through him, not entirely caused by the chilly, dank air. "Do you have a reason for seeking me?" He asked, hoping his voice came across as deadly.

Under the mask, he envisioned a cruel smile. "Don't play dumb, Reptile. Our mistress wishes you dead." He unsheathed two katana with black, gleaming blades. "She wishes to finish you...but if you resist us, we have orders to kill you ourselves."

A low rumble echoed around them, adding weight to the soldier's words.

With deliberate slowness, Leonardo grasped the hilts of his own katana, drawing them forth in one fluid movement.

"Very well."

The Foot pounced, a black wave against a blinding flash of lightening.

Leo braced himself.

Donny skidded to a halt so abruptly Mikey almost ran into him. "Guys...you hear that?"

Even Raph stopped to strain his hearing over the rain. He didn't have to strain hard. The distinct cling of metal on metal rang in the night.

_Aw, damn._

They hesitated just long enough to exchange glances before sprinting as fast as their legs would carry them in the direction of the evident fight.

_Fearless, I swear ta God..._

They just kept coming. He'd taken out a good fifteen, twenty at least. Every time he knocked one down, another replaced. They were pressing in closer...pushing him step by step toward the ledge.

A gash on his upper arm was trickling blood. His breath came fast. As a team, this would have been challenging. Alone, this was proving impossible.

"Like the blades?" Jeered a Foot. Female. She fought well, kept dancing away and allowing her comrades to take his blows. Gesturing with her katana, she chuckled at him. "They're kiss can bring down a full-grown rhino."

Leo's katana made a silver arc through the air, narrowly missing her as she flitted out of range.

"Can you feel it?"

He could. His arms and legs were gradually going numb, becoming leaden.

She chuckled again. "And that's not all that's new." Leo dodged her attack, attempted a high kick. "Miss Karai had these specially made."

A lucky strike on Leo's part sent three Foot to the ground. She glanced at her fallen comrades for a fraction of a second, but it was all Leo needed.

He struck out, the tip of his blade barely nicking her. A long gash diagonally across her face, slicing open her mask.

Electric green eyes. "Lucky hit." Sparks flew as he blocked her blow with both his swords. "It won't happen again."

They were a few buildings away, yet they could see everything clearly. Leo was in some deep shit.

"Don' stop!" Raph yelled back to Michelangelo, noticing he'd slowed up in dreaded awe.

Half of the Foot were already sprawled on the concrete roof, defeated. Any that were still on their feet and not taking a beating appeared to be dragging their fallen comrades out of the way. Raph was impressed at how many his brother had taken out on his own.

_Time ta kick some_ ass_._

Raph landed silently on the roof, Don and Mikey behind. A Foot fell by Raph's hands before he could react.

"Leo!"

All but one soldier turned on them, drawing weapons and dropping the unconscious ones. Not too many, but still enough.

"A little...busy...guys!" Leo gritted through his teeth, locked in battle with the one Foot.

Something seemed off...he was moving...slower than usual.

Mikey sent a soldier to the roof with a high kick. "Woo-hoooo, get 'er Leo, knock 'er out!"

"Quit clowning around!" Shouted Don, dealing a double blow with his staff.

Michelangelo just gave a maniacal laugh.

Most of them had fled or were unconscious now.

Leonardo kept taking more and more blows...and Raph didn't like it.

"Hey...guys?"

Over his shoulder, he caught a glimpse of Michelangelo swaying on his feet. He'd sustained a deep wound just above his left knee.

"Mike you okay?"

"Don, I...I think I'm gonna sit the rest out...ok?"

"Mike-"

"Don' get cut!" Leo's breathing could be heard from the other side of the roof, clouds puffed in the cold air with each breath.

_Cling!_

"What?"

_Clang!_

"The-"

_Klink!_

"Blades-"

_Swish-_cling!

"They're..."

_CLANG!_

Kicking his opponent a good ten feet, Don snatched a discarded katana. "They've been dipped in some kind of chemical!" He turned in over, and, disgusted, tossed it off the roof. "Mike, just hang in there."

"Hmm?" The youngest turtle had sat down on the low ledge, still swaying.

"Sit down some place where you won't get in the way... or fall off the damn _building!_"

Two left, besides the one Leo was fighting.

"Can ya take care o' Chucklehead later, say-"

_ Kling! _

"-when we're not in the middle o' a fight?"

Leo's legs shook, all the feeling gone from them. Somehow, he'd kept ahold of one of his swords, despite the fact his arms were little more than useless clubs now.

"You fight well," admitted his opponent. "Killing you will be a shame...almost."

He brought up his single katana just in time to block the blade heading for his throat. If he had air to spare, he would have responded.

"Look at you. Amazing what a mild tranq can do to send a great warrior to his knees."

_Kling!_

"I have trained for four years under to powerful masters. In your state, you cannot beat me." How smug she was!

"Maybe...not."

His brothers were down to one Foot now. Good.

Don was doctoring Mikey. Not so good.

_Swish!_ He dodged another strike.

Wait. This soldier had a favoring for her right side. Each kick came from the right; each swing of her katana came, likewise, from the right, followed by the left. How hadn't he noticed before?

"You're finished!"

"...Not yet."

Just as she struck with her right katana, Leo dropped low, sweeping her right foot from under her. It worked; she fell to the wet cement.

_Now would be a good time to retreat._

"Don, grab Mike! Raph! Move!"

Head-butting the final soldier, Raphael shook his head to clear it, saw Leo coming. Or not.

"Behind ya!"

Leo spun, off kilter. Tried to block the onslaught.

Too late.

His brother cried out as the bitch's blade drove through his plastron. Through his plastron!

"LEO!"

She twisted her blade. Then...that bitch...she laughed!

Like_ that_, Raph was on her, knocking her backward. He was seeing red, literal red. His anger made him wild.

Punch, kick, palm strike... he had her wheeling. She'd lost her last weapon...it was still stuck in his brother.

_In his brother!_

Her calves brushed the roof's ledge. The green eyes were panicked as her last attempt to block his blows made her lose her balance.

She disappeared over the ledge...

When Raph glanced at the street below, the Foot soldier's body lay broken on the sidewalk.

"...Raph!"

Donatello had lain their brother on his shell.

As Raph approached, he took off his purple mask. The katana had been yanked free...by Leonardo himself.

Already his skin had become a grayish olive color, his plastron stained bright red.

"Spleen...stomach..._God,_ maybe a lung...Raph, we have to get him home. _Now._"

In astonishment, Raph watched as Don shoved his mask inside the wound. Leo groaned, tried to curl in on himself. Don held him down.

_Oh God, oh _God-

"Raph!"

Snapping free of his state, he collected Leo as carefully as he could and lifted. The pitiful noise his brother made tore at Raph's heart.

"'M fine..."

"Don't talk, Leo-"

A gurgling cough shook Leo's chest.

His hand came away with blood.

Leo was coughing up_ blood_.

"Don, grab Mike, he's light'r!"

"Be careful, I've staunched the flow but any jolt could make it worse!"

As the made their way as quickly as they could, Raph laboring under Leo's weight and Don shouldering Mikey, the sky decided to break loose into a full-on downpour.

How fitting.

"...Leo?"

His older brother didn't respond. The blood, so much blood, mixed with the rain and ran off Leo's plastron.

_Oh _God!

At the nearest manhole, they slipped into the sewer. Mikey had gained most of his mobility back, despite being a bit woozy and limping from his wound. He and Donatello had to accept Leo as Raph lowered him down.

A last flash of lightening and answering roar of thunder lit the scene as Raphael slid the cover back into place. Michelangelo close to tears, Donatello trying to keep their brother conscious, his hand presses against the gushing hole in Leonardo's abdomen; rain and blood falling _plip plip_ into the sewage...

That image would haunt him for the rest of his life.

* * *

A/N: Leo's not looking so good... -_-

This fic is a major experiment for me, so let me know what you think! Depending on how well this one is received, I plan on writing a chapter for each repeat of the chorus.

I do not own TMNT or the song _Hurricane._

As always, I hope you enjoyed!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I feel obliged to say that this chapter might be confusing and a little hard to read. Rest assured, I've intended it that way...though it _is_ a bit out there.

I dedicate this chapter to the following members, for their comments, concerns, and emotional outbursts! :)

-Rose Black Dragon, Who am I. Well. I'm just Me, yukio87, Smile or else, catspats31, and DistractedStudent!

* * *

**Hurricane, Part II**

_(Based on the song _Hurricane_ [Verse 2 and the second repeat of the Chorus] by 30 Seconds to Mars)_

Time had no meaning. What happened in said time had no meaning. Nothing made sense; nothing could be pieced together.

There were just scattered fragments. Fragments of what had been...and what was now.

"Leo!"

Donatello, shaking him, bringing him back to a world of pain. This place...water dripping, sloshing...air rank and freezing...his brother's unmasked face blurring in and out above him...He did not wish to be here. Each breath seared in his chest. Each jostle brought another wave of fire.

"Listen to me. Focus on my voice. I know you've got God knows what kind of toxin in your veins, but you have to stay awake!"

He closed his eyes, an act that took more strength than it should have. He was floating away, the pain ebbing as he slipped into unconsciousness.

"Almost home, Leo. Leo...?"

_Leo...so that's your name._

The unexpected new voice startled him into reopening his eyes, only to blink against a blinding light. A gentle breeze hushed through tall grass and wild flowers. Clouds rolled white and fluffy in a azure sky. Leo was laying, warm and comfortable, in a lush field. His side no longer ached...the blood, thin cuts up his arms, and the stab wound in his abdomen had vanished.

What...? He touched his plastron where he knew the blade had gone in. Nothing. No pain, no lethargy from the tranquilizer...in fact, he hadn't felt this whole and alive in all his life!

_They never told us what your names were..._

His head snapped in the direction of the disembodied voice. There, laying less than a foot away from his right, was a girl. Her skin was flawless, luminescent; her hair a deep obsidian shining white where the sun hit it. She wore a simple white dress cut just below the knee: modest, yet stunning. But Leo only truly noticed her eyes, which were half lidded with tranquility.

Electric green eyes.

You! He tried to say, though no words came from his moving lips. Then he noticed the tails of his mask, pure white, and the absence of his beloved weapons across is back. What in the _Hell_?

She smiled at him. _There is no need for speaking here, it would seem, _Leo heard her in his mind; her mouth never moved.

_How...how is this possible?_ He thought to her. Oddly enough, he felt no anger at her presence, only peace.

_It's not...yet here we are._

Had he not just been with his brothers? In agony? In the _city_? Where did everything _go_?

_I woke up here..._

_I did too. Is this a dream...?_

_No, I don't think so._

_I should hope it is!_

She was no longer smiling. A sad look came into her eyes. _You don't know? You can't feel it..?_

_Feel what?_

_We're waiting..._

"Open your eyes!"

All the colors around him began to run together, like an chalk artist's masterpiece washed into oblivion by a garden hose. Living black tendrils poured in around him. Remaining sharp and vibrant, she stared, undisturbed by this sudden event.

_Hang on, what do you mean "waiting"...!_ But he'd already been swallowed by the darkness.

Sound returned first. And the pain, more pain than he'd remembered.

Running, jostling, sloshing in the dark. Then a slam and light he sensed by the brightening of the inside of his eyelids. Over the scent of blood, sewage, and sweat came the familiar ones of home.

"Sensei!"

Still running, why running? They were home. Everything would be okay; the worse was over right? Just knowing he was home made the ache less noticeable.

"Hold him guys, let me clear some space, just-" Something, a lot of somethings, fell to the floor. Glass shattered. "There, lay him down easy!"

Lowering him onto a flat, cool surface caused his abdominal muscles to stretch, their response having him rethink whether or not his familiar surrounds happened to be helping. A groan escaped him. When he inhaled, his breath hitched from the effort.

In short, he felt like death.

...That field seemed much more preferable right about now...

Shock. Heart-stopping, mind-numbing, breath-stealing shock. Not unlike what Don said their brother was in at the moment. Leo was going into shock; likewise, Raph was already there. Wrong type, but still there.

More glass broke as Donatello rummaged through his supplies. Since they'd entered the sewer some three miles back, the third turtle hadn't ceased muttering to himself...and to their unconscious brother.

With Mikey applying pressure to his plastron, Raph thought he heard Leo make a low groaning noise. Thought.

Master Splinter materialized at his side. "What has happened?"

Was the shock causing him to hear slight panic in their father's voice?

"Leo got into a fight with a band of Foot and we went to help, but they had an advantage in weapons." Don tossed a few towels, which the rat caught.

"Michelangelo, step aside." Master Splinter said, calm once again. When the turtle didn't move, he placed a paw on his shoulder. "My son..."

Michelangelo's pupils were tiny pinpricks when he focused on his father. "No..."

"Your wound will be just as serious if we don't stop the bleeding."

Internally, Raph shook himself, realizing he'd been standing there staring at Leo when he should have been doing something useful. "C'm on, Mike," he grunted, dragging his brother from the table and forcing him to sit in Don's office chair. "Yer only gonna get in tha way."

"Tie something around it, just above the laceration."

"Yeah, yeah, it's not da firs' time I done dis, Doc." He searched through Donny's supplies for a strip of leather, a belt, or something like it, to make a truncate.

"Raph..." Mikey had removed his mask and was attempting to tie it around his leg. His fingers moved clumsily.

He swatted his hands away. "Ya won't make it right if ya can' even control yer damn hands."

Behind them, an erratic beeping began. Don's homemade heart monitor...beeping way too fast in Raph's opinion.

"Where do you need me, my son?"

"Just keep applying pressure. Once April gets here, she'll be able to take your place."

"You've contacted Miss O'Neil?"

"Yes, and Leatherhead."

"'M...fine..."

"Leo!" Mikey tried to scramble to his feet, but Raph firmly pushed him back into the chair.

"How do you feel, bro?"

"...hurts."

"I'm giving you a shot of morphine right now, okay?" Filling a syringe, Don flicked the air bubbles out. "Try and stay with us, alright?"

Ick, needles. Raph had to deliberately look anywhere but the crook of his brother's arm while he was injected.

"Mmkay..." Whispered Leo, though his eyes were already closing.

"I mean it."

"Leonardo, speak with me. Now is not the time for sleeping."

A small smile pulled at his mouth. "'M not sleeping, Sensei...I'm...waiting..."

"'Waiting'? Fer what?"

This time he awoke atop a mountain overlooking a snow-topped coniferous forest. He sat in snow, it fell in large flakes around him, yet he was not cold.

_You're lucky, Leonardo. There's a chance you can go back..._She stood at the very edge of the cliff, gazing out at the white world. I don't have that luxury...

_What happened to you...to me?_

Smiling over her shoulder, her face reflected no sadness, not a hint of anger. _Your brother killed me._

_I...see. I'm so..._How could she be dead when she was moving, breathing, not five feet away?

_I do not blame him. I would have killed me too. It's all I knew, that way of life._

When he stood, his feet sank into the snow. With each step he took he could feel it's texture, yet he left no footprints. He came to her side. _Who...are you?_

_I was Kristine. I remember I disliked that name, made everyone call me Kris... I remember a lot of things. Good...mostly evil..._

_By that you mean...?_

_I've committed so much evil in my life._ For the first time, another emotion besides peace filled her expression. Regret, tangible in the air between them. _I was a broken child...reckless and naive. I wonder if Karai will return my body to my parents...my poor innocent parents...or if I'll go 'missing' like so many before me._

_'Missing'?_ Angry, he should have been angry at this injustice.

_Yes, that's how she bent us to her will... We were told your family was merciless, demonic. That you fought without honor and killed without question. Many of us who defied her were sent after you or on other dangerous missions...and never came back. They, our superiors, made us believe the bodies were...unretrievable. _

She faced him, looked right into his soul. _You are a great warrior. Had things not ended like this, I might have even asked for a few pointers. I regret...I regret so much._ And she laughed aloud, actually making sound. It echoed out into open space.

_I'm...sorry._ He thought about explaining her favor for her right side, but decided against it. That no longer mattered.

_What about you?_

_Me?_

_Yes, don't you wish you'd done different?_

Leo thought back on everything. There seemed to be an endless amount of memories he could recall...memories he never knew he _had_ until that moment. Some stuck out: the continual fights with Raph, his extreme discipline as a leader over his brothers, so many failures he'd made to his family...

_Yes,_ he allotted, _I have a lot to regret. But, right now...I don't._ And that was truth. He'd been freed of his guilt, after years of carrying it on his shoulders.

_You_ don't?

All his fond memories emerged from a secret part of his mind. Carrying Donny up to bed every other night when he'd fallen asleep in his lab... Sharing tea with Master Splinter early in the morning... Laughing and coughing hysterically when Mikey had tried to make him a cake for his thirteenth birthday, resulting in a charred mess and a huge amount of smoke... Their human companions fighting alongside them in difficult situations, risking their lives when they could have saved themselves... And, his favorite memory... hugging a young Raphael as he'd cried, _"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die! I'm bleedin'!" "Shhh! You're not dying, Raphy. Don't cry, it's just a bloody nose! I just gave you a bloody nose!" "B-but 's bleedin' so much!" "I know, I'm sorry! I'm _sorry_, don't cry..."_

_No...I don't, Kris._

_I always wished people would call me Kristy._

_Kristy, then. I know I've done wrong too, a lot of wrong, but I don't regret my life. If I had to do it all again, I wouldn't change a thing._

"Guys? Master Splinter? I'm here!" A messy-haired, frantic April burst into the lab, shucking her coat and throwing it into a far corner. "How...how is he?"

Don's naked face, drawn with determination, had begun to show his exhaustion. "He could be worse. No damage to his stomach and only mild trauma to his spleen and intestines."

"My _god_..." The woman breathed, leaning in near Splinter to better see the gaping hole in Leo's side. "What _did_ this?"

"Well...I had to...crack open his plastron to get to the damage..."

"Yeah, that was _real_ pretty soundin'," murmured the red-banded turtle. He kept at his work, cleaning Mikey's leg with an antibacterial solution. Never would he _ever_ let on how the cracking noise almost made him faint.

"But before that, a katana."

"A _katana_?"

"Specially made, and unbelievably sharp. I examined one, barely touched it, and it sliced open my fingers."

April covered her mouth. "Will he be okay...?"

Across from Donatello, the large crocodilian spoke for the first time since his arrival. "We've stabilized him, Miss O'Neil. I administered a blood substitute, which has returned his blood pressure and heart rate to a fairly normal level. For now, he is seeming far better than we'd hoped."Leatherhead hesitated only a fraction of a second. "...The real battle may be yet to come."

"Umm," Mikey shifted uncomfortably in his chair, "you alright there, Raphy-boy? You're kinda pressing hard...an' it's kinda hurtin'."

White-hot anger boiled just below the surface inside him. He'd yelled at Mikey for having shaky hands, but now it was his that trembled. Those damn Foot had done this. They always threatened his family; always pushed and pushed and pushed. This time, they'd gone Way. Too. Far.

"Ow, _Raph_!"

"Raphael!" The rat's tail lashed through the air, a warning.

He rocked back on his knees, staring at a wheel of the chair. Really, he obliged out of habit; internally, he was too consumed by hatred to care.

Even if Donny patched him up and he lived, Leo wouldn't be the same. What chance could there be that he'd make a full recovery?

Slim to none.

Master Splinter regarded him with his obsidian eyes. "Perhaps...if Donatello can manage without you, you might attended to our other wounded, Miss O'Neil?" He said softly.

"Oh! Of course. Um, that's if Donny...?"

"I should be fine here, April. Could you finish flushing the area, then begin the stitches?"

Mikey squeaked. "_Stitches_?"

"Come on now," said April, taking the cloth and bottle of solution from Raph, "You can't tell me you don't know a big cut like that won't heal up on its own."

"It's just a flesh wound! _A flesh wound_!"

"Mike, it skipped your skin and went right to your damn muscle!"

To the sound of the youngest turtle's pathetic stutters, Master Splinter beckoned Raph out of the room. He followed, reluctant as he assumed he knew what was coming.

Once they had distanced themselves enough from the eerie electronic beeping, he outpaced his father. Running. Not fleeing the scene, advancing toward the only acceptable option he could see.

"What is your hurry, child?"

Why did he still call him that? They were all eighteen now, closing in on nineteen. None of them were children anymore, let alone him.

Yet, he stopped. "I'm...'m goin' out, Sensei."

"For what reason? Your family is in need of you here."

He snorted at that. "Nah, they seem pretty good without me now...Sooo 'm jus' gonna go."

"You are not dismissed!" Splinter called after him. And, through his boiling anger and emotional pain, Raph actually hesitated... turned back, and slowly went to his sensei.

"When dis is over, I'd...well, I'd like yer _blessin'_, Father. I know it's not m' place, but..."

Those knowing eyes trained themselves on him, seeing right into his wrath-filled heart. A blood-smeared paw came to rest gingerly on his upper arm. "Raphael, my son, there is no triumph in revenge, only anger...and loss."

"But...but Sensei, I'm tired o' constantly havin' ta worry bout gettin' attacked! I'm tired o' _sittin'_ an' _watchin_' da people I know get hurt 'cause o' us...an' what we _are_!" He shook off the paw, had to refrain from grabbing and shaking his _father_ as well. "I'm tired o' it! Lemme ge' everyone we know-everyone tha' can fight- an' let's just _end_ dis! Finally bring justice ta these..._Foot_. I just...I just wan' it ta be over!"

There. Spoken through the anger. The center of it all: his pain and guilt.

"You forget that it is not justice, but _revenge_ you are seeking, Raphael. And, though it may seem unjustified, it is exactly revenge of that nature, saught by our enemies, that has _brought us here_ in the first place."

Said to be impossible, Raph found himself rendered speechless. How could that be...?

"...Let us walk, my child, and talk. You and I."

_My time here in waiting is ending._ Kristy said/thought to him. Leo could hear her crystal clear, even over the impressive roar of the nearby tropical waterfall. _I feel myself being drawn somewhere..._else.

_Where?_ No matter how calm he felt, Leo knew he didn't want to be left alone, with his fate being decided as they lounged along the banks of the Amazon. What would he do?

_Home...I'm going home._ As he watched, the girl with the dazzling green eyes began to fade away.

_You're...you're not afraid?_

_Why would I be_? The sun shown through her now, enhancing her already blinding smile. _My time in this world is over...I have nowhere to go but on._

Leo smiled a bit too, knowing she was right. _I wish you luck...Kristine._

_The same to you, Leonardo. Though you are lucky enough to either move on or go back, I feel you will have to choose...and soon._

_What...? Kristy, what do you _mean_?_

_Farewell..._

Wait!

But she was gone.

"You've missed a spot."

Raph looked himself over, located the last bit of dried blood smeared on his upper arm. "Thanks." He scrubbed it with the soapy washcloth.

Sipping tea in his usual seat at the table, Master Splinter gave him a tired smile. They hadn't spoken really since Raph had asked for his blessing, but that was okay. Sometimes silence had the same influential power as words.

"Can I ask ya somethin, Sensei?"

Ahh, there we go. Amazing how rewarding patience could be. "Yes, Raphael?"

"Are...are ya worried?"

The "I 3 NY" mug made a soft clink as Splinter set it down. "Is it not natural for a father to fear for his son?"

"Well, I suppose. I always wonder'd ya-"

Footsteps, someone sprinting. "Raph! _Splinter_!"

They met April in the hall.

"Ape-"

"We need you, _please_, Don said you need to come!"

They needn't be told twice; Raph heard the erratic beeping, coupled with his brilliant brother's frantic orders, and _flew_.

"_Don_!"

"Towels, I need more towels! LH, a clamp! Mike, you get out of that chair and I'll _skin_ you!" The third turtle was sweating profusely, still determined, yet visibly on the verge of panic.

"Don, wha's _happenin'_?"

"He's...he's bleeding out," choked Donny. "And I don't know from where!"

A clawed reptilian paw stilled the turtle's movements. "I know you are stressed, my friend, and are operating on basic medical skills, but succumbing to your instinctual fear is _not_ an option."

"I...LH, I-"

"Donatello, _think_! I know you know this. What could be causing the hemorrhaging?"

A pristine, day-lit New York City...what a beautiful sight. Had he not been invisible, or rather, existing on a different plane than everyone else, the crowded streets and bustling citylife would have worried him. Leonardo lived for discrepancy.

All the same, the fact that he was invisible, and possibly near death, kept him a bit more preoccupied.

Were they trying to save him...or had they given up? Kristy had said he still had a choice at life or death.

The problem was...at this point, he didn't know if he _wanted_ to live. This state...seeing the world...being completely at peace, calmer than he'd ever felt in all his life...it was amazing. But this was just the world between worlds, wasn't it?

What would the next world be like? Though he'd tried never to shown it, death had scared him from an early age. Not the dying part of death, the _unknown_ part of it. And, well, he'd be fooling himself right now if he said that fear wasn't with him, under the tranquility. Besides Kristy, he knew no one on the other side worth giving up his chance at life.

Here, rather, in the living world, he had so many people who _needed_ him. Mikey and Donny and Master Splinter...and, though he pretended otherwise, Raph. Mikey needed someone to look up to, someone who showed compassion and lead by example. Donny needed someone to yank him away from his rabbit hole of a lab, someone who reminded him that there was a world outside of his own brain. Master Splinter...needed his sons, _all_ of his sons, and that included him...Leo. And Raph...no matter how much he denied it...needed someone to yell at, someone who would tell him what to do just so he could butt heads with that person. In many ways, that was Raph's main form of affection.

There were days when none of them wanted him around, their friends and allies included. Most days, really. But could they live without him?

The more he thought, the more it seemed...not.

Could...could he still choose life? Was it too late? Would they welcome him back, relieved, or would they feel disappointment, having given up on him?

The city had melted substantially before he noticed what was happening.

No! He wished to stay here, in New York! His home was here!

Leonardo had no control over his destination, since his wishes went unanswered. The tendrils were merciless.

He swirled down into darkness...


	3. Chapter 3

****A/N: Mild language.

**Hurricane: Part III**

"I don't understand what went wrong!" Donatello uttered for the thousandth time. "I don't _understand_..."

"Shhh...you did what you could..."

Their little group had moved itself to the living room. Much to Casey's distaste, the TV remained off; no one else felt up to watching anything. Right now consoling Donny or just staring into space had more importance.

April had her arms around him, though he acted like she wasn't there...or maybe he couldn't sense her through his emotional breakdown.

"I thought I did everything _right_...I thought I..."

"You _did_ do everything right, Don." She seemed real convincing, crying the way she was. "You did everything you could-"

"THEN WHY ISN'T HE WAKING UP?"

From the only part of the living room he could fit-the far corner-Leatherhead spoke. "I'm afraid these things take time...much to our impatience. His body needs to cleanse itself of the drugs and begin the healing process."

"Morphine! That's all I gave him, though! Morphine and...and..."

LH nodded, perceiving his friend's expression. "The... '_tranquilizer_' might have yet to leave his system."

"But LH..." Interjected a clean and bandaged Mikey, "I got cut bad too, and it wore off in, like, an hour-tops."

"Yeah, but ya was all up on adrenaline too, doofus. An' was you run through with a damn blade?"

"Be nice, Raph. He does have a point." April sighed. Next to her, Casey started rubbing her back. The vigilante had been out all night causing trouble for the Purple Dragons, but eventually showed up around dawn. His girlfriend appreciated his support, at least.

Don frowned, back in his processing mode. Compared to his overloaded panicky episodes a calculating Donatello was preferable by far. "Maybe, Mike...I just hope I didn't miss anything."

"His heart rate and blood pressure are at safe levels. He's breathing on his own, and there doesn't seem to any signs of further trauma..."

"I know...I just...I'm worried."

"Do ya think my transformation helped?"

"That's '_transfusion_', bro, and yes it did. Though I went against my better judgement letting you go through with it in the first place."

"Hey if I got blood, I'm gonna give it."

"Says da turtle who almos' fainted lookin' at da needle!"

"Come off it, Raph! Last time I checked, you couldn't even stay in the room!"

Raph had to give him that one. When it came to needles, even little Mikey was braver than him tonight. Mikey, who had to be held down so April could stitch him up. "Whatevah, Mistah 'Universal Donor'."

Finishing another beer, Casey crushed the can in his oversized hand. He'd brought a six pack from home, since he knew Splinter didn't approve of keeping alcohol in the lair. This marked his fifth.

"Well...beer run!" Announced the mildly intoxicated man, groaning to his feet. "Getcha guys anythin'? Soda, beer...?"

As with the previous five times, everyone politely...well, semi-politely at this point...refused. Had the vigilante not been so particular about keeping his beer cold, they could have been spared the ordeals.

"Alrigh', alrigh', don't say I didn't offer." He sauntered toward the kitchen, whistling a tuneless song.

"Hey, Head-Case!" Raph barked after him, also getting to his feet. "Wait up, will ya?" Anything to get away from this sorry bunch...

In the kitchen, Casey pulled his last can from the fridge. If he noticed the broken china in the garbage bin or how the table had sustained a large crack in it, he chose not to comment. "So...how ya holding up, bud?"

"Ehhh..." He sighed, leaning against the sink. Leave it to Case to be all concerned when he really didn't want to talk about it. "I been better, ain't gonna lie."

Like when they were almost killed by the Shredder. That seemed a lot better right now. At least he could beat someone's head in then.

The can hissed as it was opened. "I, uh, heard ya been reacting bad ta it an' all."

"Ah, yeah?" Duh. He was thick-skulled, not stone hearted.

"Yeah. An', dude..." Casey paused to take a swig, wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. "It just don't seem like you."

The anger was there before he could contain it. "What don' seem like me, Case? Just what don' seem like me? He's my bro an' we coulda lost him...still might lose him!"

"Nah, man, I get that. Ya got a reason ta be torn up about it."

First Splinter, now Casey. Was everyone going to try and get all sympathetic with him? Don needed this nicey-nice crud, not him. Raph wasn't upset...okay, maybe a little bit...but he was angry! Angry at yet another blow to his family!

"...Den what don' seem like me?"

"Well..." Uncomfortable, the man absentmindedly began to fiddle with the tab on his beer can. "Da whole thing on the roof's what I been tryin' ta say. It just don' strike me as you ta have...ya know, gone as far as ya did."

He thought about giving in, about letting himself be consumed yet again by the barely-controlled fury inside of him. But this wasn't Casey trying to blame or attack him; this was Casey trying to help.

"I...dunno," Raph finally said, "I sorta lost it up there, ya know? I mean, Le...Leo wasn' thinkin' straight 'cause he turned his back on da enemy, but den dat Foot laughed when dey was hurtin' him...I jus' lost it, man."

Everyone knew what had happened now. Fortunately, they'd been too preoccupied to really express any anger toward him. Truth be told, he himself felt little shame at the act right now.

"D'ya think Master Splinter'll punish ya?"

Probably. Eventually. "Sensei's got more ta worry 'bout dan me," said Raph softly. "Sides, last thing I wan' is anotha lecture on honor."

"Yeah..."

In short, once Splinter got around to him, Raph would be dead meat.

They stood in silence for a few awkward seconds. Looking down, looking away, not really sure what to say next.

Casey cleared his throat. "Well...I guess good talk then, man, good talk." Sort of clapping his buddy on the shell, he made to head back and sit with the others, only the turtle didn't budge.

"You go on... 'M gonna check on Leo an' Splinter."

Outside of Don's lab, he dithered over whether or not he should enter. The last time he'd seen his big brother, Donny had just staunched the rupture in Leo's spleen, stabilizing him again. He'd left after that, when the word "transfusion" came up. He went and sat in the living room, stared at the black tv screen. Everyone else joined him later, including Casey...once he'd shown up.

Master Splinter had settled himself on the floor next to the low cot Leo lay on. Both paws encompassed one of his sons' hands. His eyes were closed, intent.

_I'll come back some otha time... _He really didn't want to interrupt.

"Yes, Raphael?"

_Damn it. How does he do dat? _"I...I, uh... Hey, Sensei."

The rat's whiskers twitched at him, yet he remained silent. Expecting.

"...I came ta check on ya...an' Leo."

At that, the scariest look Raph had ever seen crossed Splinter's face. Fear. "I have been trying to sense his presence...but it is as if his spirit is far away..."

Something inside Raph's chest begun to hurt. Or, rather, started hurting again. "Far away as in...?"

"As in not here," replied the wise rat, laying a paw on Leo's plastron, right over his heart, "nor is he in the spiritual realm. I fear his spirit has been trapped in a state of limbo, somewhere I cannot reach him."

The paw slid back to Leo's unclenched hand.

"What does dat _mean_?"

"My son, if I knew I would tell you. His body is weak, yet his life force-what little I can detect-waxes and wanes like it is fighting a great battle. It would seem... I can do nothing to help him."

So this wasn't like Leo'd just been knocked unconscious or something. Leo's spirit had somehow separated from his body. And Splinter, the one whom everyone relied on to right their wrongs, was powerless.

Or something. "Life energy" and "spiritual realm" were among the things Raph refused to get.

"Can...I sit with 'em?"

"You wish to?"

"I don' mind... I mean, Don's fallin' ta pieces out there an'...an' it's late...early, whatevah."

When his father stood from the floor, Raph had to force himself not to wince at the audible popping of the rat's joints. "I ask that you not speak of this conversation with anyone, Raphael. Especially not your brothers."

"Oh, I won't Sensei." No complaints there. That's all they'd need, Genius breaking his brain over the idea of Leo losing his "spirit".

Slowly, with the aide of his staff, Master Splinter left. "Take care of him," he said as he passed Raph on his way out.

Him...take care of Leo? The great and powerful _Leonardo_? That wasn't right...that wasn't right at all. The whole _night_, everything that happened, none of it was right! As he occupied Master Splinter's vacant place, these thoughts swirled in his head.

Compared to the sight he'd been a few hours ago, Leo looked better. Cleaned, bandaged in an odd way using several layers of a type of gauze, his chest rising and falling evenly... His brother could have been sleeping. Well, take away the bandages and he would've been.

The blue mask was gone, though. Understandable, considering how filthy it'd gotten- stained with blood and sweat and all. Raph wondered if they'd even be able to wash Don's mask, or if they'd have to replace it. Mikey's hadn't been too bad, considering its abuse. The only one of them who had their mask right now was he, Raph.

Without his most defining feature, his brother seemed so much..._younger_, more vulnerable. Neither of which Leonardo had been, or even hinted at being, since they were children.

"H... Hey, bro," Raphael found himself saying, "it's Raph. Can ya hear me? I hope ya can, even if ya can't hear Sensei. List'n, I know ya've always had 'issues' wakin up afta gettin knocked out an' dis an' dat don't seem ta be da same problem, but dat doesn't mean ya should jus' give up."

He wasn't too keen on taking Leo's hand, but didn't have any other options. An arm or a shoulder would have been nice, had his brother not been practically covered in gauze strips. "Ya jus'...ya gotta keep fightin, okay? Whatevah battle you're fightin', ya gotta win...or lose, whichevah brings you home again."

The thought of them when they were children brought a lifetime's worth of memories to the foreground of his mind. Raph couldn't recall a time before he and Leo had been brotherly rivals; the two of them had always fought, most of the time for no good reason at all.

"I used ta see it as a game, know dat? Fightin with ya an' all. Ya'd beat me ev'ry time, but nevah held it ovah me." Raph forced himself to look his brother in the face. "Afta while, I didn't see it dat way no more. Beatin' ya's been my goal for so long now, I jus' lose it when we figh'."

Why was he saying all this? Leo couldn't hear him or anything. And yet...a part of him might be listening somewhere. Maybe he was like all those comatose people who'd wake up if they were told the right thing? Maybe Master Splinter had been doing it wrong...?

"Look, bro..." He started to say, but had to pause until his constricting chest stopped trying to kill him. God, it hurt. "Mabbe we don' get along, but dat don' mean I don' want ya as my brother. Look at all da shit Mike an' me do ta each othah. It's like we love ta hate each othah, ya know? Same goes for you an' me."

Leonardo didn't stir. His breathing remained even; the annoying monitor beeped an easy rhythm.

"...I didn' mean what I said, bout wishin' I was nevah mutated. Dis life sucks sometimes, but I rather be a freak livin' a crazy life wit my family dan someone's pet turtle. I guess...I guess 'm sayin' I'm..._sorry_, okay? You happy now?"

Still no acknowledgement from his brother. The longer he babbled like some sap, the stupider he felt. Humiliation only made the feeling worse, so Raph did what came natural to him.

He got frustrated, and frustration always coincided with his temper. "Look atcha! You'e a real piece a work, you know dat? What'd you always tell us, eh? '_I'll be dere, I promise. Don' worry bout me!'_ Wha' uttah _shit_, Leo!"

Nothing. It pissed him off to no end when Leo ignored him. Right now it felt like he was doing just that.

Before he knew it, he was on his feet. He couldn't look at his brother; he couldn't look anywhere _but_ at him. "Wha' kind o' a brother are ya? A _leader_? Where are ya now, eh!? Why won't yah answer me!?"

"Raphael?" A large inhuman figure filled the doorway.

Damn, had he really been that loud?

"...Hey, LH."

"Is something the matter?" The reptile asked, though the empathetic expression said he already knew.

"Nah, it's...it's..." Somehow, the word "fine" refused to pass his lips. Things were far from "fine".

Minding his tail, Leatherhead picked his way around a few of Donatello's projects-in-progress and came to observe Leonardo's unconscious form.

"Did I...botha da others?"

"No, not at all. I was just coming to assess his vitals, make certain all is well."

"Oh..." For that, Raph was relieved. He hadn't meant to disturb anyone. Well, besides the turtle on the cot.

Gently, LH pressed two scaly fingers to the inside of Leo's wrist, gaze intent on the ancient Mickey Mouse clock mounted on the far wall. A few seconds passed. He laid the turtle's hand back in the cot. "Blood pressure and heart rate have increased minimally, most likely due to the morphine leaving his system."

"D'...d'ya think he's gotta chance, LH?" That question was harder to ask than it should have been.

Now it was Raph's turn to be studied by their reptilian ally. Different than Master Splinter's considering stare, yet it had the same effect. "Do you have faith in your brothers, Raphael?"

"Wha?" Was he seriously asking that? "O' course, de're my brothers."

"Then do not doubt Leonardo's ability to heal...or Donatello's ability to save him."

Ouch. "'M not doubtin'! 'M jus' askin' yer opinion!"

_Don' get angry... Don' get angry... Don'-_

A long sigh escaped Leatherhead. "While I may have experience in the medical field, I know little of you and your three siblings. The expert here is not me, but rather Donatello."

LH didn't know. Donny had been flying blind, still was.

What if...?

"Wha' if...he don' wake up, LH?"

That same sad look had returned. "We mustn't dwell on uncertainty, my friend. We must focus on the possibility that he does."

"Well, he betah." Leaning closer to Leo's ear, he repeated in a loud voice, "Ya hear me? Ya _betah_ wake up, else I'll kick yer sorry ass like I been meanin' to!"

With those words, the turtle vanished before Leatherhead could speak against him. Gone goodness knows where. He did not hear the crocodilian sigh, did not see him take a seat next to the cot nor cast his yellow eyes upon Hamato Leonardo.

"It seems your brother has made his ultimatum... I fear the impact your...'absence' will have on your family may be far greater than you ever imagined."

_Raphael is certainly receiving the situation with ill grace... Splinter, poor soul, can compose himself for only so long. Such anxiety... Should Leonardo not make a full recovery, Donatello may take the worst of the blow. Already he fears he's killed his own brother..._

"I pray you return soon, my friend. We cannot afford to lose you...your _family_ cannot afford to lose you."

Perhaps Raphael had not heard these words nor seen this encounter, so stubborn and narrow minded was he in fleeing Donatello's lab. Yet, what one brother did not hear, another did.

Maybe it was Raph's threat, or Leatherhead's quiet conversation, or Master Splinter's spiritual calling that did it. One person alone knew for sure.

Nonetheless, within the next hour, Leonardo's eyes opened.

* * *

A/N: I feel terrible for not updating in so long. This chapter has plagued me for MONTHS. Originally, Part III and the Parts that will soon follow were all one, big super chapter that has been tormenting me easily since March. Hopefully, by splitting it up, I'll be able to update and complete this fanfic in a timely manner.

My apologies, everyone!


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: If anyone has read this far, I'd just like to know: Do you like what you've read? Why or why not? It's so hard to know how a reader might perceive this fan fiction. I feel as if I am stepping outside of my own comfort zone..._

_Anyway, on to Part 4! _

* * *

**Hurricane: Part 4**

Donatello and Michelangelo were making their way from Splinter's room when Raph found them.

"Guys, we need ta talk."

"Can it wait?" Don asked, pausing in his assistance of the turtle with the bandaged leg. Under his eyes, the dark shadows looked alarmingly permanent. Something...darker emanated from the depths of those eyes. Something dark enough to send shivers through Raph's body.

"...Nah, it can't."

"Look, I'm tired, Raph. Mikey's tired. April, Casey, _Sensei_...we're all tired. You want to talk, go talk to Sensei. He's expecting you anyway." Slinging Michelangelo's arm back over his shoulders, Donatello went back to helping his brother limp in the direction of their rooms.

Stung, Raphael let them pass, not sure if he should be more furious or hurt at the retort. In the end, he just grit his teeth, scowled, and followed the two on their trek.

_I already talked ta Splinter, Science Boy. Ya just don't know it._

The stairs proved to be more of a challenge for Mikey than Don had probably thought. They could've taken the lift, but nope. Each step brought forth a grimace or whimper, ultimately causing Don to apologize.

_Wince._

"Sorry."

_Whimper._

"...Sorry."

"Ow!"

"Mike, I'm _sorry!_"

"Can't you be gentler here?"

"Well maybe if you'll let me administer more pain relievers-"

"_No!_ No more needles!"

Raph, who'd been watching with evil amusement, felt a twinge of surprise at this remark. Wasn't Mikey all proud and brave not an hour ago? Now here he was, cowering from Donny's touch like a puppy afraid of its vaccinations.

_ Wha...?_

"Okay, Mike. I was going to suggest pills, but whatever. Just take it easy, I promise I'll be more gentle..."

He bit his tongue. No use bringing it up. It was Mikey, after all. Why would he waste his breath?

Besides, he had more important matters on his mind at the moment. The anger he'd let slip toward Leo still coursed through his veins, whispering to him, eager to spill blood.

Foot blood.

"I feel all...dirty, is all. Like I'm some sort of big turtle cocktail full of weird-feeling stuff."

"...That would be the morphine, Mike. I hope."

Once the not-so-chuckling Chucklehead had been situated in his bed, Raph decided to make his move. When Donatello turned to leave, he found his way blocked by a certain stubborn mutant.

"Move."

"No."

"_Raph._"

"I said no!" He was going to make them listen, no matter what. Maybe Splinter had discouraged his idea, but that didn't mean he'd give up on it quite yet. "Will ya take a sec an' just hear me out?"

"I don't have a 'sec'! I need to be back downstairs with Leo! I shouldn't have left in the first place!"

"Leo ain't goin' nowhere fer awhile."

The purple-clad turtle flinched like Raph's tone had physically slapped him. Mikey uttered a squeak.

Raph pretended he didn't notice. "He ain't goin' nowhere, an' who's fault is dat?"

"...Mine." Donatello pinched his brow ridges together, body sagging with self-inflicted guilt as he cast his gaze to the floor.

"No! Dat's not what I meant!" He replied hastily. "Da damned Foot are da ones ta blame, Don. Not you."

"But I-"

"No, none o' that crap! It's dem _Foot_ who did dis an' it's dem _Foot_ who's gotta pay!"

Silence. Uncertainty. Fidgeting. Then, "What did Sensei say?"

"Ferget Sensei fer a moment, will ya?" As their leader, Leo always asked permission before pursuing a fight. They all knew that. It was customary, required. Sure, Splinter had rejected his request, but he wasn't Leo.

Don crossed his arms, mirroring his thick-headed brother without realizing. "What makes you think we'll just 'forget' something so vital to our way of life?"

"T'ink about it. Fer years dey've been huntin us. Runnin' us down. Dem damn bastards an' their head honcho in spikes. Friggin' Karai is psycho-er dan da first one, an' we'd be stupid ta pertend she ain't got it out fer Leo. He's been through a heck of a lot worse dan dis- hell, we all have! If he's playin' Sleepin' Beauty again, great! But if he don't wake up-"

"_Don't say that._" Hissed Donatello, eyes flashing. It gave him a sinister look, coupled with his sorrow the way it was. He practically radiated depression. And fury.

"I'm sayin' it, alright! 'Cuz if he don't wake up, dey win, don't dey? Dey finally kill one o' us an' dey figure da rest will be easy pickin's."

Michelangelo, who'd been fingering the edges of his bandages sullenly, snapped into attention. "They won't get me easy. I swear to God, if we lose Leo..." An odd noise came from the turtle's throat and he did not continue.

"See, Mikey gets it!" Raph lowered his voice a few notches. "If we lose our bro, dey'll just keep righ' on huntin' us, won't dey, Don? Dey won't give us a break or nothin'. Dey'll nevah _stop_, will dey?"

"...No, they won't."

Close enough to a "you're right" for him. "An' are ya gonna let 'em take ya without a figh'? Let em run tests, dissect ya, _murder_ ya...an' not figh' em?"

"Of course not! Why would I-"

"Good. Cuz I got a plan."

"Wait. Hang on a second here," said Donny, collapsing on the edge of the bed. Mikey barely moved his leg out of the way in time. "Are you telling me you actually have a plan? And you expect us to carry it out, the three of us?"

Funny how all of a sudden Don was the one asking for a second. Heh, little prick. "It ain't just gonna be da three o' us. We got friends fer a reason, don' we?"

"You're expecting our friends to risk their lives for us?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Let me guess, we call in as many of our allies as we can to participate in an all-out battle to the death." Sarcasm dripped from Donny's sentence.

"Close. Dere's more tho."

"Oh, do tell. It's not like you're jeopardizing anyone here."

Don't get angry... Don't get angry...

"Well, I was thinkin' bout how dem Foot an' how dey nevah leave us be. Dey are such damn pests, like wasps dat won't stop stingin' ya... An' den I thought o' da Foot's tower an' how it's lika wasp nest. No mattah how many o' dem you squash, more'll just come from da nest."

"You're saying, if we destroy their tower, we destroy the clan."

Sometimes, no matter how much he got on his nerves, he sure appreciated how sharp his brother was. "Sorta... But we'd need a big distraction in orda ta do it. Somethin' that'd get even da queen bee outta her nest."

"Queen wasp," interjected Mikey,"'Cause it's a nest and they're wasps and all."

"Whatevah," said Raph, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

The suggestion at hand seemed to snap Donatello out of his gloom. They could practically see the wheels in his head start to turn again. "So we portray enough of a threat to lure Karai and as many of the Foot away from the tower as possible, then detonate a controlled explosion to bring it down without causing too much damage to the surrounding buildings-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, all that. Ya get the idea tho, righ'?" Raph let himself feel a little hope. Maybe he'd really convinced Don.

"Yes. But I don't know, Raph..."

Eh, never mind. The unspoken "no" in Don's voice smarted like, well, one of them wasp stings. "What don't you know, huh? Somethin' not _good enough_ for ya?"

"Hey, all I said was 'I don't know'!"

"Yeah, an' all I said was 'somethin' not good enough?', well is there? You don' think my plan's good enough, Genius?"

Donatello shot back to his feet. "You want my honest opinion? It's full of flaws, scenarios we can't control! What happens if someone we know _dies_ because we asked them to help us? What then, Raph?"

"SOMEONE WE KNOW _IS_ DYIN' DOWNSTAIRS 'CAUSE WE _DIDN'_ ASK FER HELP!"

In the silence that followed Raphael's outbreak, he watched his brother's resolve crumble. Donatello's unmasked face fell once again into shadow. Still in bed, eyes round, Michelangelo had frozen in shock.

From below, a great commotion began. Raph knew it was because of him. This time he'd done it. Oddly, he couldn't care less.

"How much longer are we gonna sit an' take almost gettin' killed ovah an' ovah, Don? Tell me dat."

Donatello never did get the chance to answer.

"Don! _Don!_"

Hurtling up the stairs and down the short hall, April pushed her way past Raph. The long night had been rough on her, as with all of them, but her appearance now compared to an hour ago was far worse. Pale and winded, she grasped the red-banded turtle's upper arm as her legs nearly failed her.

"April!" Fight forgotten, Donny immediately went to her side. "April, are you alright? What's-"

He tried to reach out and support her, yet it was she who lashed out and took hold of him. Tears dripped from her chin as she uttered in a strangled voice the words they'd been dreading.

"It's Leo."


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Thank you all for your reviews this far:_

_Rose Black Dragon_

_Who am I. Well. I'm just Me_

_yukio87_

_Smile or else_

_DistractedStudent_

_Emi The Ninja_

_I wish to Fly_

_MutantGirl95_

_BubblyShell22_

_dondena!_

_You guys made me so happy and are driving me to take every step until the figurative "The End"!_

_Waking up has become a recurring theme in this fic...not a bad thing, but not intentionally done. I guess, like the song _Hurricane, _recurring themes can be inevitable and maybe even beneficial sometimes...I encourage readers to listen to it at some point. Sort of helps to set the mood and might clear any questions you might have (or create them...)!_

* * *

**Hurricane: Part V**

_(Based [loosely] on the song Hurricane by 30 Seconds to Mars)_

Pain... Unbelievable pain. The moment he became fully conscious, he didn't feel relief for successfully returning, nor awe for all that he had experienced. No, instead he was consumed by searing, excruciating pain.

He turned his head, tried to inhale. It felt like he was breathing in flames. The sheer effort of drawing in that single breath alarmed him far more than the pain itself.

One breath. Two. Three stuttering inhales and exhales. The more he consciously drew, the easier it was to work around the burning in his side.

Internally, he assessed himself. There was pain, obviously, which centered in his lower chest. He knew something really detrimental had happened there, but the pieces of his memory weren't fitting together quite yet...whatever happened, he'd figure it out later. His body lay horizontal on something not so hard, yet no so soft either. His katana and mask were gone, their absence so apparent others might have compared it to noticing a lost limb. Which his were all present, though they burned up and down their lengths. All in all, aside from the pain, he was in one piece, if only just.

He lifted his heavy eyelids a tiny bit, then a little more. Everything swirled, went black, then white and back again. A ringing in his ears added to the vertigo. And what was that irritating beep? Hopefully it would all subside soon...very very soon...

"Leonardo...?" Came a voice not too far from his side. He knew that voice from somewhere...

_...Kristy?_

No, that couldn't be. The calm, the beautiful landscapes...were gone. Replaced by this fresh Hell...

Movement. A large figure shifted in and out of focus. His heart skipped a beat.

Not Kristy.

"Leonardo, can you hear me? Do you know who I am?"

Of course he did. He knew exactly where he was. Why wouldn't he? "Lea...ther...head?" He choked, trying to manipulate his tongue. His mouth was so dry...

"Yes..._yes,_ my friend." The crocodilian sounded uncharacteristically shaken, and very much relieved. "Please, I beg that you stay awake. Do _not_ allow yourself to fall back asleep, understood?"

Why did everyone keep telling him that every time he came back?

He blinked a few times, fighting to keep his vision from blurring out again. "Okay," he managed.

Leatherhead disappeared from his line of sight, but he didn't mind too much. Moving his head really took an effort anyway.

After a minute of aimlessly watching the ugly old Mickey clock on the far wall, some sort of cacophony reached his still-buzzing ears. Breaking glass...raised voices...the sound of running feet...

_What...?_

Leatherhead returned, escorting someone else he recognized.

"Heeey there, bud," drawled Casey Jones. "Nice ta see you made it, eh?"

"Hey...Casey."

Same old Jones...

"Leonardo, how do you feel?" Toleration. LH was tolerating the vilgilante's presence, concealing his distaste with a careful, albeit toothy, smile. He knew Casey meant well.

"Yes, how do you feel, my son?"

Master Splinter. The sight of his father limping toward his bedside sent the most blessed sense of happiness washing over him. Not unlike the bliss he'd experienced in that other plane of existence...that sense of _safety_.

No sooner had he opened his mouth did two of his brothers come barreling into the room. Donny, mask-less, with Raph right on his heels.

"Sensei, is he-" Began Donatello, clearly panicked and...were those tears in his eyes? When his gaze landed on Leo, he stopped completely.

Raph ran right into him, causing the two of them to barely avoid becoming a heap of winded, exhausted turtle. "Ay! What da hell-" Then he, too, caught sight of Leo, who couldn't help observing with confusion written all over his face.

For a few seconds, no one said anything. Which, from Leo's perspective, were the uneasiest, exposing seconds he'd ever lived through. Seriously...

Why were they all giving him such _odd_ looks?

"...Could someone...explain...what's...?"

His father laid a paw over his hand. Somehow, Leo perceived this wasn't the first time tonight Master Splinter had done so. "I am glad to see you have returned. Forgive us, for we are simply relieved."

"How...how're you doing, bro?" Don asked. The shock seemed to have worn off, though the smile he now wore had a strained quality. Shadows under his brother's eyes gave Leo the impression that Don hadn't slept in quite some time.

"You look horrible."

"Speak fer yerself, will ya?" Hanging back from the cot, Raph shot him a pointed glare. Any one who didn't know the hothead would have assumed he was just being his angry self. Leo knew different. This was Raph's way of hiding his inner solace.

Donatello ignored his comment, instead fiddling with a machine that he'd been hooked up to. Oh, the heart monitor. So that explained the beeps that refused to stop plaguing his ears.

"His increase in heart rate is normal." Assured Leatherhead. Clearly he noticed something in Donny that Leo did not. "Most patients experience a slight spike when morphine or other drugs administered for pain have left their systems."

"'M fine, Don...really..." In a way, his pain comforted him. He knew, without a doubt, that this was the real world and not some peaceful unreality.

"No, ya ain't '_fine_', dammit! Look atcha! Fer god's sake, quit pertendin' like ya didn't almost die."

Like he didn't almost die. Had he really been that close?

"...Alright..." He lamented. "I could use...something. Ibuprofen."

"Well, you're getting morphine." Don had already begun filling the syringe.

"No...need...Where's Mikey?"

Wordlessly, Donny met their sensei's eyes.

"Leonardo, Michelangelo is fine. Your main concern at this time should be yourself. Now, please, I ask that you listen to your brother."

Surely he could make them understand why he did not- could not- be given anything strong enough to knock out the one thing keeping him firmly in reality. "If the pain...goes away...I won't know if this is real or not."

Amidst the confused faces surrounding his bedside, two did not seem bewildered by his statement at all. Rather, they reflected an air of knowing. Master Splinter, who's frequent spiritual journeys made him a semipro, and...of all people...Raph?

Leo tried not to dwell on the thought. Perhaps he was imagining things.

Later that afternoon, long after April had kicked the shell out of Raph and Don for taking off and assuming he was dead, Leo lay alone, deep in thought. He'd counted the tiny cracks in the ceiling several times over. Already staring at the same four walls was getting sickening.

Donatello had explained most of the events that occurred while he was unconscious. Guilt etched on his face, he'd waited until the others had cleared out before breaking it to Leo.

"When...I made the decision to...to do what I did, I never considered what the probable recovery time could be." Donny refused to look at him. "I'm...so sorry, Leo."

"Don't spare me, please. Just tell me everything."

He then listened as calmly as he could while his brother recounted the impromptu surgery and its bittersweet aftermath. How they'd stabilized him, nearly lost him, and miraculously restabilized him again. How Mikey had found enough courage, of all people, to give him the blood he desperately needed. How, after they'd all hoped the worst had finally passed, he didn't wake up.

The ache in Don's voice could have surpassed his own fiery pain. Not that he was complaining about successfully avoiding another dosage of morphine, of course. He could tolerate the pain. Seeing his younger sibling so consumed by remorse, however, was more than he could bare.

"Stop."

"...What?"

"You're mentally torturing yourself for saving my life." And he wouldn't have that.

"I have a reason to! Yes, I saved your life, but I had to...to... Do you know how _long_ it takes a normal turtle's plastron to heal after suffering major damage? _Years!_ Maybe _never_!"

"But I'm not a normal turtle, am I?" He chose not to accept Don's apology and wouldn't hear any more talk of possible permanent damage to his being after that.

_No_, he thought now, _I'm not, nor have I ever been, normal. _He refused to view this injury as more than merely a temporary liability.

What happened during his time with "Kristine" remained a mystery to him, no matter his attempts to make sense of it. The Foot soldier who narrowy failed to kill him, sharing an existence with him in a world not quite real, yet not quite unreal? How could that even be possible? Traveling to various destinations, some highly impossible, within the blink of an eye? And that darkness...that living nothingness he was swallowed by every time he changed destinations...

How could he make sense of something so absurd, yet so vivid?

He was alive and very much in the real world, he knew now. And he had to make sure he stayed that way. No matter how odd or impossible or incomprehensible his memories of a different world might be.

His family needed him. Son, brother...leader. They needed him. That simple fact kept him more grounded and focused than any amount of pain did.

Already he could feel this strength returning.

_Give me a day... and I'll be standing. Give me a week and I'll once again be the person they can depend on._

* * *

_Short, I know. Sorry guys!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Hurricane: Part VI**

Any other day, the news would have bored Raph half to death. New York had its crime and disasters, its celebrities and its politics. Why would anyone want to hear the same depressing stories over and over?

Today, however, it held a great deal of importance. And he wasn't the only one watching intently either.

"I don't like this..." Hissed Michelangelo from the couch, his healing leg stretched out across the cushions. "The more they talk about it, the bigger and scarier it sounds."

"Becuz it _is_ big an' scary."

"Okay, you admitting that makes it the worst thing out there. Like, Shredder level. And not Karai either-_oooh_ she freaks me out-I'm talking the mauling, _kill-all_, badass-"

With perfect aim, the recently finished soda can hit Mikey between the eyes.

"Ow!" Yelped the turtle in orange, covering his face with both hands. Really, it didn't hurt. But it certainly startled the shell out of him. "What was that for!?"

Raph had straightened in his seat, his eyes fixed on something beyond the encounter taking place. He gave his bro the signature death glare he was famous for. That can was a warning, the usual "shut-yer-trap-doofus", but with more meaning this time. A lot more.

For a moment, Chucklehead didn't get it. Which, after years of being on the receiving end of all the crud he'd thrown at him, Raph thought for sure...

"...Raph?"

How many brain cells did it take for him to follow Raph's line of sight and _take the hint_?

Apparently too many, 'cause it took him long enough!

Leo was, slowly but surely, heading this way.

One click of a button and the news was replaced by some rerun of Hawaii Five-O. Which held both turtles' interests like they'd never seen it, oh, more than three times.

"Good morning..." Leo greeted them, trailing off at the end as he observed the two's odd behavior.

Mikey always had difficulty hiding things. Take right now. With the stupidest expression-and Raphael had seen some pretty idiotic ones-he returned the greeting by saying (God, why?)-"Yes. Er, in that it's good. Yup, real good. Too gooda day to be spent watchin' TV. Nope, not a good idea there, but-"

"Mornin'." barked Raph, effectively silencing Michelangelo's babbles. Let Fearless take it as him being obnoxious. Anything to put a lid on the Turtle-Who-Couldn't-Lie. Heh, besides springing across the room and smothering him with a couch cushion. Heheh...that'd be perfect.

Only a slight hesitation preceded Leo's courteous reply of "Morning". Perhaps he sensed the abnormally tense atmosphere. Or not. Either way, he had the beginnings of that look he wore whenever he was about to call them out on something.

"Ya been trainin' again?"

Leo hid his own guilt fairly well. Few who knew him as well as his brothers could detect that tiny pinch in his brow or the slight tone in his voice. "Yeah, I have... I plan on more later."

"Don's gonna strap ya to yer bed again if ya keep pushin' it."

"I'm aware of that. He just doesn't know what I'm capable of handling."

_Here we go again._

"Nooo, he doesn't want you going and messing yourself up again. Doesn't want you cracking open again like some big Leo-Walnut or, or Pistachio-"

"Thanks so much for that." His words came out bitter, yet Leo's tiny half-smile said was humoring his youngest brother.

Raph, on the other hand, became nauseated by Mikey's remark. That cracking sound..._ick_. Never _ever_ would he forget it. Of course, if Leo could hide his distaste, so could he. Instead of making a big deal, he absently massaged the bruise April had left on his jaw. Yup, totally not wasting his breath.

Awkward silence. Leo wanted to say something, he could just tell. Maybe more ranting about Don's training restrictions. Or something meaningful. Besides complaining about the bed rest and the "no training" and Donatello hovering around him nonstop, Fearless hadn't said much since the day he'd awoken. No lectures, no "This is what I/we/you did wrong and this is what we need to do to improve".

Nothing.

He was scaring them all shitless.

Attention turned to the TV, Leo crossed his arms over his bandaged chest. "...Haven't you guys seen this episode like five times already?"

"Mabbe it's our favorite...an' mabbe I know a subject-changer when I see it."

"Isn't it, 'When I hear it', Raphy?" Lately, Mike had found a love for correcting everyone on everything, even if they weren't wrong. Most of the time, like in this instance, they _were_ wrong, though. 'They' meaning Donatello and Raphael, of course.

"Shud up."

Leo sighed. "I'll be fine, guys. Really. I know my limits and I'm exercising a lot of caution. Now, of you'll excuse me..."

"Where're ya goin'?"

"To stretch."

Instead of retorting, Raph bit his tongue. What was the use? Leo always did what Leo wanted to do...unless Master Splinter said otherwise. And right now, no matter how hard they tried, they wouldn't be able to hold him down and make him rest.

Raph just let him go.

Mikey switched the channel back, uncharacteristically reserved. He did that on and off now during the day. Then again, he did have that tendency when things got...tough.

Huh. Since the incident, he'd been noticing more and more about his brothers. Watching, sensing things he would've otherwise ignored. Funny...Leo's job was to pay attention to all this, not his. He was just the brawn. The hothead. The one who struck first and asked questions last. He chose to be that way, and liked it too.

What of this new internal radar, then? Would it go away once everything straightened out again?

_If _anything would be remotely normal after...

They were supposed to be watching this broadcast for Don, but...

"So...which one o' us should risk tellin' Doc his patient's bein' a pain in da neck?"

_Okay... This isn't difficult._ With a katana gripped tight in one hand, Leonardo clenched his teeth. _I've got to keep trying..._

A week had passed since his near-death experience. Seven days. After three, he'd finally been allowed to roam the lair again. Today marked his second day back in the dojo. Two days wasted in his weakness.

With deliberate slowness, he began again. Each transition through his warm ups caused a pull here, an ache there. Not horrid, but enough to make him suck in tiny breaths of shock.

_Maybe Don was right in saying it's too soon to be doing any training..._ Leo shook the thought away. How else would he get back in shape? Sitting in the living room watching Hawaii Five-O reruns? No. He had to be in here. He had to.

He was sick of everyone worrying about him.

From the beginning, fretting over his family had been _his_ job. Well, Master Splinter before him, then it became his responsibility once he'd been dubbed leader.

Now even Raph seemed to have gone soft when he was around. Or as soft as Raph could possibly get...

Don, in all honesty, had Leo questioning his level of patience. Constantly buzzing around him like some...helicopter doctor. Instead of a helicopter _parent._ Ugh, he was driving him up the walls!

Worse, they were keeping things from him. He could just tell. Don would suddenly busy himself when he noticed him coming. Raph constantly acted defensive, which would've been non-suspicious if it weren't for his extreme hedging. How he purposefully drove the subject back to Leo, no matter what the conversation was about. Poor Mike was the easiest to decipher, what with his guilty fidgeting and all. And the way he chose not to make full eye contact with his big brother.

He had assumed this had all been due to what happened, but...

_Something isn't right... Something they're not telling me..._

Deep in thought, he executed a move with more force than he had intended, sending a paralyzing pain through his core. He gasped, automatically curling in on himself where it hurt most.

The katana fell to the bamboo mat. Again.

_Damn_ his wound. And _him_ for allowing the pain to interfere!

"Leonardo...?" Came his father's voice.

Had he cried out in pain? He hadn't thought so...nevertheless it appeared he had been discovered.

"Yes, Sensei?" He bent and retrieved his weapon, gingerly, before fully acknowledging the rat.

Had he been standing there, all this time, watching from just inside the dojo?

Master Splinter's expression said he had. "My son, has Donatello not told you to refrain from training?"

"...Yes, Sensei."

"Then why do you choose to disobey him? To endanger your health?"

For many reasons. Reasons Leo had trouble admitting even to himself. How could he explain the turmoil inside him? The need to move, be active, better himself...and take his mind off the images that refused to be erased from his memory? Such explanations were elusive.

"It's...complicated, Father."

"Too complicated for me to understand?" The words were harsh, yet the smile was genuine.

Ah, the infamous guilt trip. "Of course not! I just..."

There just weren't words for it. The fight on the rooftop, the unknown tranquilizer in his veins...his inability to think or move properly, his failure to block the onsalught that nearly killed him...that state of consciousness, that same girl who'd almost ended his life...he hadn't any words.

"Don't feel you must explain this second, Leonardo," soothed the rat. Gently, yet with firmness, he claimed the katana from his son's grip. "I wish to hear what has been troubling you so, but in the mean time..."

He held out the paw not holding the sword, palm facing up. Expectant.

"Sensei...?"

Surely he didn't mean...?

"It is only temporary, my son. And for your benefit."

Kristine's poisoned blade might as well have pierced him for a second time, straight through his heart. Untying his remaining katana and the twin sheaths from his back...he handed them over, face ashen. His prized weapons...His source of sanity...

What would he do to keep his mind clear now? Not even meditation helped. (He avoided altered states of consciousness for obvious reasons.) The flashbacks plagued him even in his sleep, filling his dreams with never-ending scenes from that night. Training was his only option.

"I'm sorry it has come to this. However, until Donatello has deemed you well enough, I see no other way."

"...Hai, Sensei."

"You must heal, Leonardo. No matter how many seasons a farmer may plant his seeds, he will not yield crop without first tending his field."

The same analogy had been used on Raph once. Leo comprehended the message then already, his brother...pretty much blew it off like always.

"I know..." Of course Master Splinter would see right through him, to the heart of his troubles. Past the raw ambition, into his emotional storm.

"Until that time comes, when you have successfully cleared your physical rocks and weeds and nurtured your spiritual soil, as it were, I... forbid you to participate in any form of ninjutsu."

'Forbid'. That word was binding. To Leo, hearing his father ban him from ninjutsu was like being told he could no longer breathe oxygen. Without it...how would he live?

Out of anyone, his father must have understood how much it meant to him, and yet he just... took it away.

"It agonizes me that I must make you suffer so." He heard it, in his father's voice. His deep sadness and...disappointment...no, regret.

Leo met the black-eyed gaze of the person who had raised him, who had fished him from the very ooze that had made him what he was today. He owed everything to this wise individual...trusted him fully...and respected him deeply. If Master Splinter said this was for the best, he would not question it. At least not out loud.

"I'll...manage, Father. You have my word."

"Good...I have a... request for you, should you wish to pursue it."

_One, maybe two days...That's all I can afford. I need to sort myself out fast. Have to find a way. What other choice do I have? The longer I go without fighting, without leading, the harder it will be for us to defend ourselves...and the people who matter to us..._

* * *

**_A/N: Missed updating by, what, twoish weeks? Yikes..._**

**_I'm dragging out this fiction so much, but I can't stop. Some details just can't be overlooked...like this chapter. Important._**

**_Lyrics-wise, since I'm not allowed to add them, we're nearing the end. Story-wise, we've got a ways to go. I think this chapter, last chapter, and the following chapter are all dedicated to one line. No joke. _**

**_I guess you, my wonderful readers, will just have to stick around and see what happens! :)_**

**_As always, I appreciate your feedback and love getting those comments that make me laugh in a quiet room like some lunatic._**

**_Until next chapter!_**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hurricane: Part VII**

For the past few days, he had kept his mouth shut. Didn't go out of his way to torture Mikey, followed through on everything Donatello wanted done, and avoided most confrontations with his eldest brother. Sure, he'd open his yap if he had to, but right now he figured no one could handle too much of his normal charm.

Secrets were everywhere, though. They all had them now, some they shared, some they kept for themselves. And some everyone knew but were too afraid to bring to light.

"How many days do we have?" Don asked, hunched over a slew of papers all scattered about their sad kitchen table.

Raph wracked his brain for exact details. "Bout a week an' a half, prolly less...deez bozos on da news don' know fer sure."

"I could've told you that...Honestly, I'd love to have a job where I'm paid to be wrong fifty percent of the time."

"With all da lives at stake, dey bettah start bein' right."

Donny snorted. "No kidding. Where did they project her to be today?"

He indicated on an old, water-damaged map the general area he'd seen broadcasted. Don marked it, then proceeded to measure with a compass. This map had all sorts of funky-looking, hand-drawn waves and whirls on it that Don must have added.

Raph watched, totally lost, as his brother began a long row of consecutive equations. Plugging in answers here, changing letters to numbers there...he really didn't get it. Thank goodness he didn't have to.

"So uh, how bad is dis gonna be? Fer us?"

"Bad. Very, very _bad_. The worst part being I have no idea just how detrimental I could be."

"Don' let Mikey hear ya say dat."

"Oh, I won't," murmured the turtle while gathering his work into one neat stack, "But, you know, he'll have to be told eventually."

Somehow, he got the feeling Donny wasn't talking about Mikey. "Like I said, lemme handle breakin it ta-"

"Breaking what to whom, Raph?"

Startled, he spun to find Leonardo himself standing a mere few feet away, arms folded, face set.

Crud.

"Nuthin'...an' no one."

"That's what I thought." Not saying more, he shrugged his way past them.

He _had_ to have noticed Don's papers, but instead Leo turned his back and yanked open a cabinet door. Fishing out a mug, he set it down on the countertop with an audible _clang_. Then he stood there, head bowed, one hand still on the cup, the other gripping the cabinet door with such force Raph thought he might tear it right off its hinges.

"Uhh...?"

"What?" He snapped over his shoulder.

"...Nothing. Just, are you alright? Feeling any pain or-"

"No." The cabinet was safe again, but now their ancient tea kettle was in harms way as he began preparing it for the stove with too much roughness. Good thing he'd grabbed the cast iron one because all too soon there came another, deafening cacophony.

Leo swore.

"Bro-"

"_Don't_, Don. Don't even ask. I dropped the kettle in the sink, that's all. I'm not _dying_, I won't be any time soon, so quit _acting like I am_."

Raph knew something had gone gravely wrong. Poor Don stood there trying not to show how much that just hurt. Their brother never swore, never deliberately lashed out. Only in extreme cases had he ever...

But...

_Mabbe it's another thing dat's changed..._

Truth be told, he knew a lot of things about Leo that hadn't existed before the whole incident. The worst of which being his nightmares. Having a room right next to Leo's and sharing a wall proved...difficult since Leo had been able to move back in. Somehow, in his stony heart, Raphael couldn't bare to tell the others about how he'd lay awake at night, sometimes going as far as to sit outside his brother's room, and listen to him as he made strangled noises in his sleep. Sometimes he'd talk, though not in coherent sentences. Most nights he'd wake himself, panting and gasping, whether in pain or something else Raph hadn't an idea. Either way, Leo keeping him up every night was beginning to take its toll.

That, the current disaster taking place, the plans for the Foot clan, Splinter watching him like a hawk, Leo sneaking into the dojo every couple of hours, and Mikey not being himself...he could handle_ that_ much. But Saint Leo swearing, banging around in the kitchen, and snapping at Donny?

Last straw.

"What da _hell_ is wrong wit you?"

"...I don't know."

Raph snatched the wet kettle away. Slammed it down out if his brother's reach with twice the force Leo exerted on his mug. "Wadda ya mean you _don' know_? Eh? Hit yer head while ya was in dere 'strechin'?!"

"Yes, because that makes total sense!"

"Uh, Leo? You really shouldn't-"

"Nah, let em, Don. Let em go blow his stitchin'! Cuz he ain't gonna stop no madda-"

"I'm not going to 'blow my stitching'! I know what I can handle and, unlike you, I have people I have to look out for!"

"So ya _think!_ And it ain't like we can't look afta ourselves!"

"_Raph-_"

Leo held up a hand to silence him. "No, I want to hear him say it."

"Hear me say wha? _Dat we don' need ya dere fer us all da time?_" The instant the words left his tongue, he regretted them. He wasn't about to take them back, but they stung and even Raph could feel it.

_'I'll be here for you guys. Don't worry about me.'_

"You don't need me...Right..." Briefly, for a fraction of a second, that impenetrable wall between the Leo everyone saw and the Leo he hid from the world came crumbling down. Just long enough to allow Raph a quick glimpse before it slid firmly into place once more. "I guess you guys certainly proved that over the past couple of days..."

"It's not like that!" Donatello sputtered. Somewhere along the lines, he'd set his research back on the table. "We've been meaning to-"

"It's like I said Don. Don't. Just...don't."

And he left.

Like earlier, Raph let him leave. Granted, not for the same reasons, but... still. His brother left while the pure disbelief of what he'd just witnessed had frozen him where he stood. When he could function again, the damage had been done, the fight over, and Leo gone.

"Perfect. Now he'll go worry himself to death over your beautiful sentiment." Grabbing his stack, Don turned to stalk out as well, no doubt planning to hole himself up in his lab and pour over his research until he crashed on his desk again.

"_Wait._"

His family knew Raph could never control his emotions well. Master Splinter called him 'passionate'. Everyone else referred to him as a hot-head with a short fuse. What no one really knew, however, was how high his level of emotional comprehension could be at times.

Michelangelo had a bad day, he saw it. Donatello was stressed out, he felt it. He simply chose to ignore... Or he was too busy trying to deal with his own disjointed feelings to pay close attention.

This time, he couldn't feign indifference. Not when that glimpse into Leo's inner self just dealt him a swift uppercut to the jaw.

"What? I sort of have a ton of work to do-with several lives hanging in the balance-and if you think I'll continue to waste that time separating fights-"

"I know, I know! Dis is more important."

"More important than saving our _lives_? ...Is this still about Leo?" Don eyed him closely, ready to retort if he gave him reason to.

"Yeah, it is." And Raph's big mouth. And Raph's idiocy. But he wouldn't admit to those two quite yet. "Go grab Mikey. We need ta talk wit Fearless."

Don sighed. "Fine. This one is on you though, not me. I specifically told you_ not_ to upset him."

"Dis goes deeper dan wha happen jus' now. Trust me."

_I can't believe I came back for this._

His whole life, or as much as he could remember, he had lived for one soul purpose. Family. Understanding, protecting, and, later, guiding. Every second of training, every cell in his body, every ounce of blood shed-both his and his enemies'-all for that single word. That single concept.

And now, after everything he'd done...after all he'd sacrificed over the years: his own wants, wishes, happiness, and safety...where was he?

Alone. Trapped in a broken body with no way to escape the great storm that threatened to destroy him from the inside out. His identity, the very fiber of which he'd based his life, taken from him. His family...yes, that concept he'd worked so hard to defend...turned away from him.

'_They need me.' What a laughable thought. As soon as they found out I may never be the same, they moved on. I'm no longer trusted or revered. They treat me like an unwanted houseguest!_

He punched the wall. It felt good at first, until the pain made itself known. Sadistically, he almost welcomed the ache. Took the edge off his turmoil and forced him to turn his attention from these toxic thoughts.

Studying his knuckles, he found ripped skin and blood. Nothing he wasn't used to, though he rarely used his fists in battle. That was more of Raphael's preference than his.

_Raph..._

No matter how he tried to block out his brother's words, they always found a way to affect him. Every time. He knew Raph only said what he did because it got to him, but that didn't make it hurt less. On the contrary, the fact made it hurt all the more.

Why? Because it showed he was weak. Weak enough for Raph to make him mad. Weak enough to make him verbally lash out at both his brothers. Granted, he'd just lost his katana, a fact that remained burning in his chest, but that was hardly an excuse.

Family. They were family. He was supposed to project them, be there for them.

_"Mabbe we don' need ya dere fer us all da time!"_

Some "family". Secrets, lies, fights...what kind of a family was that? What kind of a family had they _become_? Sure, since the beginning of their existence he never got along with Raph. But a fight had been the cause of this whole new mess, hadn't it? Now everything that made them a family was gone, replaced by deceit, guilt, quarrels, and maybe even hatred.

Staring down at his bandages, Leo wished the last week had never happened. He touched the gauze and epoxy layer holding his plastron together.

_Don did everything he could. I'm alive because of him. And yet, here I am, pushing my limits...and everyone's patience._

Exhaling in a big rush, he tried to ignore the twang of pain it caused him. Not just the sigh...everything. Deep down he knew the fault of losing his swords was solely his, just as the fight with Raph had been his doing. And Donatello...he never deserved to be snapped at.

The problem here wasn't his brothers, but him. They no longer trusted him, and for good reason. He must come across as a nut job, going off on his own, pushing his limits, barely talking...Yeah, pretty crazy.

_I owe them an apology_, he thought. _Donny, Master Splinter...Raph...For what a mess I've been._

While he was thinking of messes, his room certainly was one. Normally kept clean and tidy, it resembled Mikey's room now more than his. He couldn't help but think how his mind and his room were ironically similar at the moment.

Just another thing he needed to fix.

"Hey, Leo."

He looked up to find not one of his brothers, but all _three_ peering in at him. They looked...wary.

Automatically, he went on the offensive, heart rate increasing and muscles tensing."Guys? What's-"

"We're goin' fer a run," grunted Raph, "An' we taght we'd invicha."

Huh. "With Mikey's leg the way it is?"

"Eh." Michelangelo waved him off. "It ain't all that bad. 'Sides, this bein' stuck in the lair's got me all _buggy_."

"I...really should stay here."

Now Don interjected. "We're just going topside, Leo, not seeking a fight. Like you said earlier, you're nowhere near death." He smiled apologetically. "So long as you feel comfortable with it, you should join us."

That didn't make sense. A few hours ago, Don had been ready to have a bird because he'd been in the dojo, yet now he was allowing him to go out? To risk encountering the Foot again?

"You were right, Don. I shouldn't be pushing myself."

"Is dat a 'count me in'?"

Leo shot him a glare. "No, it means I'm staying. What if we need to fight? I can't defend myself."

"We got your back, Bro."

"Says Hop-A-Long."

"But, Leo-"

"No."

Raph looked at Donny. Donatello looked back. Slowly, the turtle in purple nodded.

"Hate ta break it ta ya, but ya ain't got no choice. Y're comin', whetha ya like it o' not."

Leo's gaze flicked between the three of them. Mikey, eyes pleading. Raph, arms crossed. Don, determined and resolved. Surely they wouldn't...

"There are three of us and one of you," stated Donny, as if he could read his mind. "We carried you in, we can carry you out if that's what it'll take."

"Why?" What was the point of risking their lives? He knew exactly how it would end. They'd encounter Karai's forces. During the battle, he'd be unable to protect himself, let alone his siblings. The three of them would try admirably to help, but in turn would drop their own defenses to accommodate for his. Disjointed, they would all fall.

And he wouldn't, no, _couldn't_ allow that to happen.

Again, some secret communication passed between Don and Raph.

"Well...you've kind of been acting a little-"

"Crazy. Ya've been a ragin' nutcase dis past week an' we figure ya need some air. Ya know, clear whateva's been messin' with yer head."

"That's nice of you." Okay, maybe his sentence came out more sarcastic than he'd intended. Still, Raph just voiced his greatest fear: they thought him as psychotic as he did himself. "I doubt any amount of air, sewer or city, can help what's been bothering me."

"Please, Leo?" Michelangelo did those accursed Mikey eyes, the ones Leo couldn't say no to and also made Raph want to punch him right between his orange mask's eyeholes.

"...Fine." Lamenting felt both good and bad. Bad because he had an inkling the minute they stepped foot above ground, Karai would know. Good simply because he'd been itching to leave the lair...and because he had a bunch of apologies to make.

"Great...I didn' wanna haveta carry you anyway."

* * *

_Tune in next chapter! :D_


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